Lambs to The Slaughter

Sunday 29th January 2023: Women’s FA Cup 4th Round: Etihad Academy Stadium: Manchester City vs Sheffield United

In a month dedicated to my football travels I made it to the last weekend of the month without making it to a Women’s match. So I decided it was far past time to change that and chose the FA Cup 4th round as the time for it to happen. The Etihad academy was the place and the visitors to this altar of Women’s football were Sheffield United from the Women’s Championship.

Any second division team coming to the home of one of the best teams in England were always going to struggle. Things looked particularly grim for the visitors from South Yorkshire, as they hadn’t won in the league since the third game of the season. You didn’t have to know anything about football to spot from 100 miles away who was going to come out on top here. Sheffield United were coming here as lambs to the slaughter whose only hope was to keep the score down. A though task against a team who had won two of their last three games 6-0.

It was one way traffic from the first whistle to the last, as the hosts pinned their victims in their own area for the duration. The first 15 minutes of this attack vs defence training session were kept goalless thanks to the heroic efforts of the Yorkshire 11, but a minute later their resolve was broken.

Kadisha ‘Bunny’ Shaw was the lady to break the deadlock and set Man City on their simple Sunday stroll in the park, to victory. The ball was played up to Chloe Kelly in the right channel; she wrong footed Nina Wilson, in the Sheffield goal, and laid the ball into Bunny’s path to stroke home into the unguarded net. There can be few simpler goals scored in the past decade.

With the defences smashed it now just became a question of how many City would get as they sent wave upon wave of attacks against the broken Sheffield defence. It took them a full 22 minutes to double their advantage and I still don’t know how it took so long. City had the run of the pitch and the only time Sheffield attempted to get near the ball was within the 6 yard box around their goal. They protected that area like the lives of everyone they’d ever met depended on it.

Even this dogged spirit of survival at all costs was not enough in the 38th minute though. A simple cross from the left was allowed to sweep across the box unmolested. It made it all the way through to Chloe Kelly at the back post and she made the wise call not to look this gift horse in the mouth. Kelly slammed the ball home with the power of someone letting out all their frustration of a player making up for the 11 months of her career lost to an ACL injury.

The venom of this finish inspired City to complete their trifecta of goals before half-time, with the last kick of the half. A half in which the visitors failed to register a shot on target. Intricate interplay between the previous goalscorers ended with a crisp cross across the 6 yard box, which was collected by Deyna Castellanos in the centre. The Spaniard was afforded the time to spin and tap the ball into a, yet again, unguarded goal.

Seeing the ease with which the goals that had been scored left many of the home fans underwhelmed at the paltry 3 goal advantage their team carried down the tunnel. This palpable disappointment was expertly dispelled early in the second half, as Bunny and Julie Blakstad had made the host’s lead unassailable within 7 minutes of the restart.

As in the first half Bunny went first, squirming her second under the statuesque keeper from the edge of the penalty area. Found by a short free-kick along the ground, with her back to goal, Bunny spun on the spot before releasing the ball from her feet at the speed of an arthritic slug and it still found it’s way through the obstacles before it and into the back of the net.

Blakstad’s goal 2 minutes later was even simpler. Sheffield United dithered on the ball on the edge of the box, the ball was duly nicked off them and slid through for Blakstad to guide home from point blank range. Having seen her teammate get a brace Blakstad decided she wanted one too. She would get what she wanted when she made it 6-0 to City in the 78th minute. Blakstad’s brace came from a corner from the left, she held the nearby defenders at arms length and shovelled the ball over the keeper and into the net.

Not to be outshone Bunny decided to complete her hat-trick with 3 minutes left in the match. A miscommunication in the Sheffield defence left Kelly and Shaw sprinting free in behind the backline. Kelly chose the unselfish option to slide the ball left for Shaw to slip under the keeper. This simple Seventh summarised the slaughter of Sheffield; simple, sumptuous play that tore Sheffield to shreds. The visitors managed a single shot in the whole 90 minutes and, shocking no-one, they didn’t even get it on target.

Losing such a one-sided exhibition of how to destroy your opponents is at least on small silver lining for Sheffield United to take back across the Pennines. If their defence had buckled straight away the City’s final score could easily have been doubled.

For City it was a case of ‘Lambs slaughtered, now onto the proper challenge’. That proper challenge was closing the 5 point gap to their cross city rivals, occupying the final Champions League qualification spot, in the WSL.

I wish them the best of luck with that. Though judging by their performance here they hardly need it.