The Football tourist

Saturday 22nd April 2023: Premier League: Gtech Community Stadium: Brentford vs Aston Villa

It’s never a good feeling to travel to see your team when they’ve lost the last 3 games on the trot. Even worse news for me as I made the journey was that Aston Villa were on fire, having won 7 of their last 8 games, including all of their previous 5, – Brentford had won just 2 over the same period.

Uni Emery had turned the Villains into a winning machine as they close in on European football next season despite being plagued by injuries. Philippe Coutinho, Matty Cash, Boubacar Kamara and Leon Bailey all missing for the visitors and their squad is squeezed so thin that their bench included two keepers and two untested debutants.

.Brentford’s stuttering form had seen their own chances of a European tour next season dropping away. The performances haven’t been good either – part of the reason to delays on my St. Marys, Old Trafford and Leicester blogs is that I have no wish to relive those matches yet.

So I wasn’t expecting much on the long train to London. My only ray of hope was that Brentford had won their past 4 home games against Villa and had only lost at home twice all season.

Starting Well

Against the form book it was Brentford who started strongest, closing the visitors down with a tenacity unseen in months. We had even remembered how to attack, with Mbuemo smashing goalward from just inside the box just 4 minutes in. His shot sailed straight into Emiliano Martinez’s grateful gloves, but at least it was a sign of intent from the hosts. The Villa keeper would have to be alert 6 minutes later, pulling off a splendid snatch off the feet of Toney within the six yard box as Shade slipped a sumptuous cross through to the back post.

Villa soon asserted themselves in the match though. Ollie Watkins going on a charge into the area in the 8th minute before being bullied off the ball as he shaped to shoot.

Settling In

The game settled down after the opening exchanges into a turgid midfield slug-fest. Both teams had their chances during the rest of the half, but every time Brentford got forward the final ball was inches ahead of onrushing teammates.

Matters in midfield came close to boiling over in the 23rd minute as a loose tackle by Christian Norgaard led to a mini-melee which saw both the Bees’ midfielder and Leander Dendoncker of Villa pick up bookings.

Neither teams lacked for effort, but the end product was dreadful. As the game limped towards half-time Ashley Young picked up Villa’s second yellow of the match for the accumulation of niggly tackles.

Brentford has been the team on top all half and if they had managed to find a decent final pass they may have headed down the tunnel with the advantage over their visitors. Maybe even if they had it wouldn’t have mattered though as the few shots they had all found their way straight down Martinez’s throat. The game made it to the break all square.

Substitution Invites The Swarm

Having dragged his team to the break on equal term with their hosts Emiliano Martinez’s reward was to be hooked at half-time. After the match Unai Emery attributed this strange decision to the keeper struggling with a stomach bug.

Whatever the reason for this change it was a huge confidence boost for the Bees to see their main tormentor removed from the board and they started the second period in swarming mood.

Kevin Shade was especially in the mood to cause trouble as he skinned Ashley Young twice in three minutes down the right wing, but both times his cross was wayward at best. Mbuemo was the next to try his luck from the right, cutting inside to flash a cross-cum-shot across the face of goal. It failed to trouble Robin Olsen, the replacement between the posts, much.

He was troubled seconds later though when a stunning ball lofted over the top from Mbuemo set Shade up with a one-on-one that he won by simply swaggering past Olsen. The hard part done Shade then proceeded to shank his shot wide of the post and smashing into the stanchion holding up the net, from just 6 yards out.

Still less than 10 minutes into the second half it was now Mbuemo’s chance to screw up a golden opportunity. A clearance hacked upfield by Rico Henry was flicked round the corner by Shade sweetly into Mbuemo’s stride. Rather than hoving in on goal Bryan dithered on the ball allowing Villa’s defence to reorganise and snuff out the chance in it’s crib.

Despite the lack of end product the intricate link up play between Mbuemo and Shade was scrambling the Villa defence. Without the calming influence of Martinez marshalling them from behind their cohesion had been blown to the winds, but it would take till the 65th minute for the hosts to take full advantage of their new found utter dominance of play.

Neither Shade nor Mbuemo would be the one to provide the telling touch to open the scoring though. That would be left to Ivan Toney, minutes after Mbuemo had launched the ball into the stratosphere from inches out at the back post.

Toney showed his teammate how it should be done, meeting an Mbuemo cross from the right with a bullet header at the back post that left Olsen grasping at thin air. Finally Brentford had the lead they deserved.

Ivan came inches away from doubling the lead minutes later as his acrobatic bicycle kick whistled past the left post, with Olsen statuesque in the centre of the net.

Failure To Capitalise

Having broken through it seemed like only a matter of time before the floodgates opened and the torrent of goals started pouring in. It was not to be.

The longer the half dragged on without Brentford adding to their lead the more nervous I became. Particularly as the fresher legs of the three Villa substitutes, brought on whilst I was still celebrating the opener, began to make an impact.

The lengthy break in play whilst Lucas Digne received treatment for a gash on his head caused by a late Mbuemo high boot, for which he escaped punishment, did little to replenish our energy levels. Digne was allowed to carry straight on once the physios had been working on him on the pitch for 5 minutes, which seems at odds with the nominal focus on greater care of the players.

The Sucker Punch

In the final 5 minutes the pressure on the hosts ratcheted up to intolerable levels as the Bees shrank away from the challenge and dropped deeper and deeper into the defence of their lead.

Villa waited till the 88th minute, with the hosts hanging on by their fingertips, to crush the dreams of every home fan with an equaliser they had done so little to deserve before the final 5 onslaught.

The equaliser itself was a goal as messy as they come. A throw-in created chaos in the box, the ball was punted goalward, deflected off a defender’s leg to the feet of a striker who bundled it home from 3 yards out.

Those who had made the journey down from Birmingham couldn’t have cared less how it happened though because they all count the same.

All that mattered to the visiting fans was that Villa had equalised in the final minutes of a match which they had been blown to smithereens for much of. Having been on that side of many a match I know that it feels like a win despite walking away with one point instead of three.

Desolation is the only word that does justice to being on the wrong end of such a result. When that goal went in the home ends were a silent as a morgue.

The worst was yet to come for the home fans however as a ball through the centre was expertly dispatched past Olsen by super Frank Onyeka, only for the linesman’s flag to chalk off this gorgeous winner for offside.

Brentford dominated proceedings, had the ball in the net twice and would have been great value for the win, only to see a defensive melee and a linesman’s flag condemn them to a draw.

If a draw had been offered to the home fans before kick-off many would’ve bitten your hand off for it – given the form of both teams – but as we traipsed out after the final whistle this draw felt like 2 points dropped.

Personally, it also felt like another nail in the coffin of our European dreams. The sole ray of hope in that regard was that the performance level had finally turned around and if the next few continued to improve at this rate the results should start coming our way again soon.

Any team that cycles through three or more managers in a single season clearly has issues, ask Southampton.

Leeds United clearly have more than most though. The man they have turned too in their fight against relegation this season is none other than disgraced ex-England manager Sam Allardyce.

This is the manager sacked by the FA mere 67 days after taking over in the England dugout, after he was caught taking money to help businessmen skirt FA rules on third party ownership of players.

I understand that Leeds last experience of relegation from the Premier League, at the end of the 2003/04 season, was extremely traumatic for the club. Dropping to the depths of League One would be hellish for any team that sees themselves as one of the biggest clubs in the nation – especially as it took till the 2020/21 season for them to return the top tier.

Turning to a manager previously mired in so much controversy, on the eve of a duo of games which are in all probability unwinnable anyway, who will need time to affect the team’s performances stinks of desperation.

That unwinnable duo of games are away to Manchester City, building up their usual end of the season invincibility, and at home to Newcastle United. There are very few managers in the world that could steer this Leeds team to more than a single point with that run and Sam Allardyce isn’t one of them.

I may be wrong about that, but it still feels like a moon-shot from a board grasping for anything that will avert disaster.

Saturday 29th April 2023: Premier League: Gtech Community Stadium: Brentford vs Nottingham Forest

Following Brentford over the past few months has been a trying endeavour. Lacklustre performances and a run, since the hard fought derby win, that had seen them win just between 6th March and 26th April have made it difficult for me to get excited about the long journeys I take to watch them play.

It hardly helps matters that their singular win in that period came against a bottom-dwelling Southampton team destined for the drop. Even then the Saints could have been well and truly out of sight before half time if they possessed the services of a half decent striker.

The Villa game last weekend signalled a turning point in the hosts season though as they were back to their buzzing best against Villa, only to concede an 88th minute equaliser that denied them all 3 points. The green shoots of recovery continued midweek at Stamford Bridge though as they secured a 2-0 victory over their stuttering hosts with just 1 shot on target.

Unfortunately for the Bees, Nottingham Forrest have also shown a startling up-turn in form in the past 7 days. First they equalised twice at Anfield to push their rejuvenated hosts all the way before finally succumbing to a late Salah winner.

They followed that excellent performance with another in mid-week as Brighton were ripped apart at the City Ground as Forest secured their first win since 5thh Feb, to haul themselves out of the relegation zone.

So what we had then was two teams finally turning around dreadful run of recent form and looking to build momentum for the crucial run-in. The hosts trying to keep hopes of going on a European tour next season alive; the visitors hoping to keep themselves outside the drop zone and relegation to the second tier. A true showdown in the making

When the game got underway it was no showdown at all as the Bees ripped into their visitors. Forest were content to soak up the pressure and hit the hosts on the break as they had decided this was the way to secure the points they are desperate for to avoid an instant return to the Championship.

Brentford poured forward to try and take early advantage of the visitor’s stand-off approach and were soon launching wave after wave of attacks on the Forest goal. Rico Henry was having particular joy down his flank, but his crosses frequently failed to find a teammate.

Forest were defending expertly as a group and it was one the break that they were the first team to conjure up a clear cut chance. A surge down the left by Orel Mangala provided space for a cross into the centre and David Raya had to be at his most alert to snaffle the ball off the toes of Brennan Johnson, lurking with intent at the back post.

That chance aside it was the hosts making most of the early running and they were unlucky not to take the lead after 12minutes. Toney fashioned a pocket of space on the edge of the box but, rather than powering his shot either side of Keylor Navas, he punted the ball straight down the keeper’s throat.

Despite their dominance of both possession and territory throughout the first half the hosts were unable to properly test Navas before half-time, a Kevin Shade header into his gloves from a free kick into the mixer being the closest they would come to breaking through.

In the single minute of injury time Forest would punish them for their profligacy. Their breaks had already been causing the hosts issues, with Rico Henry entering the Ref’s book for cynically cutting one out on the half hour mark.

When one of these breaks landed them a throw in deep in Bee’s territory they chucked it into the centre. Chaos ensued in the hosts backline and when the ball landed at the feet of Danilo and the birthday boy didn’t need asking twice to rifle it home past a statuesque Raya.

To see a Forest team that had been outplayed so exquisitely all half land the perfect sucker punch with the last kick of the half was a huge kick in the proverbials for every single home fan. The atmosphere that had been building throughout the first half was sucked out of the stadium faster than air out of a punctured space suit.

The conspicuous absence of half-time changes by Thomas Frank underlined his faith in his team’s ability to turn things around. It would take a long time and the full quota of substitutions for his faith to be rewarded.

Despite his team leading it was Steve Cooper who blinked first, replacing Taiwo Awoniyi with Andre Ayew in the 9th minute of the half. Ayew would be on the pitch all of 90 seconds before collecting a yellow card.

This distruption to the visitor’s personnel appeared to unsettle them and the hosts really should have equalised before the hour mark. A brilliant through ball set Shade free on the left. He looked up to see Mbuemo sprinting into the box and slid the ball into where his stride should have ended up for a simple side foot finish. Unfortunately, by the time the ball arrived in this perfect position Mbuemo has checked his run in anticipation of a cut back to be swept home from the penalty spot.

The lack of other attackers following up to capitalise on the chance was the catalyst for Frank to go full send with a gung-ho double substitution on the hour mark. Rico Henry, a full-back and Damsgaard, a box-to-box midfielder, were replaced by Yoanne Wissa, an out and out attacker and Josh DaSilva, an attacking midfielder capable of moments of magic and sensational finishes from distance.

When this double hadn’t born fruit ten minutes later Mr. Frank banked on three subs in five minutes. It would take till the game had ticked over into it’s final ten, with Forest having made a further two subs to clog up their quota of three substitution windows in the half, for this flurry of subs to finally pay dividends.

Before the long awaited equaliser arrived Ben Mee went for a shot at immortality with a spectacular bicycle kick from 12 yards out that peeled the paint off the bar as it whistled over the top.

What happened next was insane. Forest conceded a freekick 26 yards from goal in line with the right hand post. Toney hovered over it before threading the ball through the wall and into the only area where Navas’ palm could do nothing to keep it out.

The keeper could only watch on in horror as his shove round the post smashed into the post instead and sent the ball careening into the back of the net. Cue bedlam.

My fellow home fans and I exploded in pure unbridled ecstasy at this late reprieve. Little did we know things were about to get even better.

Having given Forest the lead Danilo was forced to limp off with a leg injury in the last few minutes, leaving the visitors a man light till the final whistle. Whilst it’s never nice to see any player go off injured, it’s a lovely feeling to realise they can’t be replaced and your team will now have the advantage for the remainder of the match. Even better when the 4th official flashes up Seven minutes of injury time.

Brentford are known for ending games well and so they proved to be again here.

In the 94th minute DaSilva found the ball at his feet wide on the right, cut inside into the box and let rip from 17 yards. His spectacular shot smashed into the bottom corner. Navas’ despairing dive arriving milliseconds too late to deny the hosts a winner they thoroughly deserved.

We even got to celebrate the winner twice after a prolonged VAR check for offside. A grandstand finish to the match ending in best way possible.

COME ON BRENTFORD!!!

The confidence boost of this comeback victory, on the back of the midweek win at Stamford Bridge is the perfect preparation for their next game – a visit to Anfield to take on a resurgent Liverpool team on Coronation day.

I grew up a confirmed royalist, but I have also wanted to attend a competitive match at Anfield for as long as I can remember. Faced with this difficult decision football won.

I will be spending coronation day watching the team I love and have a season ticket for taking on my boyhood team on their home patch. COME ON BRENTFORD!

This Premier League has seen a record 20 managerial changes since the start of the season and most of them have barely been blips on my radar.

Today however, two from the last month have turned into blaring beacons as Palace moved beat West Ham United 4-3 to overhaul what had been a 12-point chasm to move above Chelsea in the table. Their visitors today are now the only team from the capital below the blues. That gap is just 5 points now though and with the way things are going at Stamford Bridge it may not be long before it disappears entirely.

Chelsea have been struggling all season and when a 2-2 draw at home to Everton saw their new owners part ways with Graham Potter the new owners turned to ex midfield maestro Frank Lampard to reverse their fortunes. The very same Lampard who had been sacked by Everton in January as relegation fears engulfed the club.

In Seven games, ten and a half hours of football, in all competitions Lampard’s Chelsea have scored just one goal, been knocked out of the Champions League and secured just a single point in the league. A point that was secured in a 0-0 draw with a similarly dismal (at the time) Liverpool team.

One point from an available fifteen is relegation form and any other manager overseeing such a disastrous run could expect the sack imminently. Lampard may be safe for now, but only because the owners are unlikely to want to admit how badly they’ve got things wrong.

Chelsea will almost certainly be safe come the end of the season too, but with no win in 5, just 9 points separating them from the drop and no sign of improvement in results or performances it’s not impossible that they may yet be playing in the Championship next season.

A similar fate appeared to be closing in on Crystal Palace at the end of March, when they sacked Patrick Viera on 17 March 2023, with the team not having won a game since 31st December 2022.

Palace also turned to a club legend, Roy Hodgson, to turn their fortunes around and with marked different results to their neighbours on the north bank of the Thames. Hodgson has overseen six league games since taking the helm and hasn’t lost a single won.

His record in his current sparkling spell helming the Eagles has so far consisted of five victories, fifteen goals and a single draw (at home to Lampard’s old club Everton). That’s what I call an impact.

The contrasting fortunes of these clubs in turning to old hands highlights the vast differences between them.

Crystal Palace have the stability of having had the same owner for multiple seasons now. A local man with a vested interest in seeing his home town team succeed, who turned to a tried and tested manager to steady the ship.

Chelsea, unfortunately for their fans, have recently been forced into a change of ownership due to circumstances outside of their control. They have been taken over by a foreign owner with no personal ties to the club, who has turned to an ex-player with one unsuccessful spell in the dugout under his belt.

Since they re-joined their respective clubs, Hodgson has made Palace irrepressibly good whilst Lampard has made Chelsea indescribably bad.

Rochdale A.F.C. are situated on the edge of Greater Manchester abutting the foothills of the peak district. They play their home games at Spotland Stadium, a long uphill trek out of the centre of town.

Now they have a long uphill task ahead of them to get back into the Football League, after a 1-0 defeat at Stockport County confirmed their relegation to the National League. In truth though that defeat was just the final nail in the coffin that you could spot being built for them all season.

No team can start a league season by conceding twice at home in the opening 20 minutes on the way to losing their first game, then lose their next four on the bounce without scoring and hope to stay up. People often talk about teams being in relegation form and securing just 3 points, all from draws, out of the first 27 available definitely counts as such.

It took Rochdale until 24th September to secure their first victory of the season and even then it was thanks to a penalty, which they coupled with their first clean sheet of the season. This win was the start of a brief bright spell for ‘The Dale’ as they won 2 of their next 3 games to start October off in sparkling form.

It would be another 3 weeks (6 games) before they won again though as half of their league wins all season were secured before mid-November. Shipping 10 goals in 3 games across December didn’t help their hopes of turning things around.

That run of drubbings went a long way to contributing to the 68 goals they have conceded so far this season though. Only Crawley in 22nd and Hartlepool in 23rd and almost certain to fall through the trap door with Rochdale have conceded more, at 69 and 76 goals respectively.

What no other team, in League Two, has done is score fewer goals than The Dale this season. A return of just 41 goals from 44 games is nothing short of despicable and when your defence leaks like a sieve too then you have the perfect recipe for disaster.

So it has proved to be for Rochdale A.F.C. as they end a 102 year stay in the Football League that has never seen them play higher than the third tier. They follow in the footsteps of bitter local rivals Oldham Athletic who fell through the same trap door last season.

That has to be the target for Rochdale next season then; beat Oldham in the local derbies and finish above their rivals in the table. To do that their next steps are clear, plug the holes in their extremely porous defence and work out where the goal is and how to get the ball into it.

Just a few minor issues to be ironed out then and good luck to them in doing so.

I hope Rochdale’s exile in the wilderness of Non-League is shorter than the decade and a half that Wrexham endured, before they brought it to an end this weekend.

North Wales have a team back in the EFL again as Wrexham finally secured promotion back up into the Football League after 15 years in the Non-league wilderness.

I’d always heard that the National League was the hardest league to climb out of, with it offering a paltry singular automatic promotion position. If any season proves the truth of that adage it’s this one.

Wrexham have had to secure 34 wins from 45 games, lose just 3 and score 115 goals to secure the 110 points they have needed to secure promotion. Despite the glorious feats I’ve just listed it has taken them till the penultimate game of the season to successfully see of the challenge of Notts County.

That’s just what it takes to claw your way out of the mire and perhaps the financial backing of their Hollywood owners, Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhanney, has helped a bit too. Being able to convince Ben Foster and Paul Mullins to lend their innumerable skill and experience to the promotion push has helped and I doubt either would have plummeted into the Nation League without the correct incentive.

Both have proven to be astute investments for the club. Paul Mullin has only contributed a mere 46 goals to the teams tally for the season, which is just 40% of the total so no big deal really. That’s his contribution without assists and he got two of those in the title decider against Notts County at the Racecourse Ground on Easter Monday, 10th April 2023 (he had already scored the opener.

Speaking of that decisive battle between the two title contenders (the closest team below the duo being 25 points in County’s rear view) that was when Ben Foster made his biggest contribution to their promotion party.

Wrexham had taken the lead, for the second time, in the 78th minute and looked to be hanging onto for a famous win that would put them on the brink of promotion. Then disaster struck. Eoghan O’Connell handed County a penalty in the 96th minute of the match.

The only man standing between Notts County and the promotion place now was Ben Foster. He dived to his right and shoved the ball round the post to secure a crucial 3 points for Wrexham.

That save, and all the excellent performances across the season are why the fourth tier of English football will be saying welcome to Wrexham again next season. It is there that, under the guidance of ex-Hull City manager Phil Parkinson, The Dragons will be looking to set the world on fire once more next season. They will have to win their first Welsh derby in the Football League since the 2002-03 season, to do so though.

Winning the National League is such a difficult quest to complete that it seems to set you up well for survival in the league above and maybe more. After all, Stockport County won it last season and in their first season back in the EFL they’re still in the running for a second automatic promotion in a row with just 2 games of their season remaining.

The scenes in Wrexham this evening must be incredible. How much better will they be if they manage to follow this promotion up with another next season?

Monday 30th January 2023: FA Cup 4th Round: Pride Park: Derby County vs West Ham United

Casting my mind back to January once more, I completed a mad weekend of FA Cup fourth round football with a trip down to League One Derby County hoping to see them pull off an cupset against top tier West Ham Untied.

Derby were flying in the league; fourth in the table with a 9 point cushion to the bottom of the play off places: and as such they would have been confident of beating a Hammer’s team struggling to ward off relegation fears.

A quick perusal of the form book seemed to back up this confidence, after all what threat could a team that had only one away win to their name since boxing day pose to hosts that hadn’t lost over 90 minutes since 21st October. A huge one.

The Hammer’s form may have been intermittent at best, but they still had Premier League quality on their side and a confidence boosting win over Everton in their last game to hold onto. They had also overcome high-flying league rivals Brentford away from home in the last round, so the unfamiliar surroundings of Pride Park were unlikely to faze them much.

So it proved to be, with the carrot of a trip to Old Trafford in the next round perhaps proving too tempting for the visitors to collapse. Derby threw every at the Hammers and comfortably had the better of the opening exchanges.

The Rams charged down the left from kick-off. Within 30 seconds they had gored a hole in the Hammer’s defence to fashion the opening chance of the match. Unfortunately the cut back from the bye-line hit a Hammer’s toe, deflecting it away from the boot waiting expectantly to smash Derby into the lead.

The opening 9 minutes was all Derby as they threw the full kitchen at their visitors. Faster into the tackle and more skilful on the ball than their illustrious visitors it looked at this early stage that it was only a matter of time before the host’s broke through the Hammer’s dogged defence.

Shock reverberated through the stadium in the 10th minute when the visitors, who hadn’t been in the game at all in the opening minutes sprung from nowhere to take the lead.

The first hammer blow

In their first move of any note Hammer’s took the lead. Tomas Soucek blasted down the left and Derby were caught by such complete surprise by the blow that not a single player moved to halt his progress. The original shot was parried well by Wildsmith but the ball landed plush on the boot of Jarrod Bowen.

Bowen needed no second invitation to flash the ball into the unguarded net from point blank range. From nowhere West Ham now had a lead they would never relinquish despite the efforts of the hosts.

Seeing their visitors take the lead so utterly against the run of play enraged the Rams and they threw everything they had at the opposition. It was not enough. The closest they came to a fully deserved equaliser was a gorgeous first time volley by James Collins, that peeled the paint off the bar on it’s way over the top.

Derby’s dominance was particularly noticeable on their left as Tom Barkhuizen had the Hammer’s right back in his back pocket. If only one of his multitude of beautiful crosses had been met with a finish of commensurate quality things could have looked extremely different at the break.

As it was though, when the half-time whistle blew though it was the visitors who held the scoresheet advantage.

This was a travesty and a thorough mis-representation of the situation on the pitch throughout the half. The scoresheet is all that matters though and so West Ham were ahead.

Having half-time to rest and refresh helped the Rams rush out of the traps in the second half and reassert a simillar level of dominance to the level they had in the first half. They were first out of the tunnel and were also the first to create a presentable chance in this half.

Jason Knight decided to take on the Hammer’s single handed. Jinking past opponents on all sides he weaved his way to the edge of the box before arrowing a ball towards goal. Unfortunately the aim on his arrow was wayward and the ball went blasting yards wide of the right post.

It was not long before they created another chance though as Collins picked the ball up in the box with just the keeper to beat. Then he lost his footing and the visitors were able to clear.

The visitors were utterly under the cosh in the opening exchanges of both halves but once those opening exchanges were over first time round they took the lead. This time the opening exchanges lasted half the time that they had at the start of the game and at the end of them this time the visitors delivered the second, decisive hammer blow.

The Second Hammer Blow

Michail Antonio was the man who delivered the killer blow. Bowen, scorer of the first turned provider for the second, weaving through defender on the right was able to open up the home defence like a hot knife through butter. He was then able to find an incisive pass through what was left of the Ram’s defenders to lay the ball into the path of an unmarked Antonio in the six yard box for the striker to prod home into an unguarded net.

This blow seemed to destroy Derby’s belief that they could turn their dominance of possession into the goals they so badly needed to launch an unlikely comeback. Their forward forays became less and less ambitious. Surrendering the goal threat they had possessed for so much of the match was the worst part of their response as it deflated any hope of the game continuing to be a contest.

Perhaps Paul Warne, the Derby manager, sensed the doubt spreading like a virus through his 11 as he dredged the depths of his reserves for a quadruple substitution on the hour mark. Barkhuizen, Max Bird, Nathaniel Mendez-Laing and captain Curtis Davies were the players hooked. Eiran Cashin was sent on to take over captaincy duties. Liam Thompson, Lewis Dobbin and Tony Springett joined him on the field of play as part of Warne’s hail mary attempt to turn the scoresheet on it’s head. It didn’t work.

Indeed, it was the visitors who came closest to adding a third goal to proceedings. Further excellent work from Bowen down the wing opened up the home defence before pulling the ball to Said Benrahma. The Algerian spotted that Haudon Roberts was playing Pablo Fornals onside in the centre so he slipped the ball through to his teammate. Fornals blasted the ball towards goal, only to see his effort cannon off Wildsmith’s feet and away from target.

That was the last major chance of a match in which Derby dominated most of the play, but all that will go down in the history books is that they lost 2-0 to their Premier League opponents.

Derby deserved something for their efforts, but got nothing having been undone by two hammer blows.

Saturday 28th January 2023: EFL Championship: MKM Stadium: Hull City vs QPR

There is only one phrase to properly sum up Hull City Fc’s MKM Stadium; dreadful name, spinetingling atmosphere. The home fans made this one of the most enjoyable games I have attended in such a long time. Hull fans rock.

Fuelling them to create their incredible wall of noise was the belief that their recent improvement was just the start of an inexorable rise up the table. There was genuine hope among the home faithful that they could rise from their current 16th place all the way upto at least the playoffs by season’s end, if not further. Seeing ex-player Liam Rosenior return to take up the reigns in the dugout in November was yet another sign that they were now on the right track

The astute acquisition of Aaron Connolly on loan from Brighton for the rest of the season only served to fuel this feeling. Connolly has shown a ton of promise in his 3 appearances since joining the Tiger’s ranks and today he planned to celebrate his 23rd birthday by showing QPR exactly how it feels to be mauled by the Tigers.

Oh yeah, Queens Park Rangers were the visitors to the East Riding for this match. They sat 4 points and 3 places above their hosts at kick-off and in dreadful form. The last time they managed to win a game was back on December 17th; 1-0 away at Deepdale.

Hull’s form was no better as they have also only won once since the league restarted after the World Cup break; 4-1 away at rock bottom Wigan. They had the vociferous home support to push them on though and that proved to be the difference in this one. Well, that and Connolly on fire.

The Tigers tore into the visitors off the bat and set themselves on the way to mauling their visitors. With unstoppable momentum behind them and the unwavering support of their boisterous fans it took just 10 minutes for the host’s birthday boy to give them the lead. He provided the finishing touch to a sweeping team move. Just 10 touches were needed to take the ball from halfway to Connolly’s feet by the penalty spot. He stroked the ball home, past 3 defenders and the despairing dive of Seny Dieng.

Hull prowled all over the pitch in the first half, not giving the rangers a seconds rest, but were unable to increase their lead before half-time. Things were so bad for QPR in the first half, that Neil Critchley plumped for a double change at the break. This made it 3 changes made with 45 minutes still to play, having already lost Kenneth Paal to injury in stoppage time.

Sinclair Armstrong, Andre Dozzell and Jake Clarke-Slater were the trio trusted to turn things around for the visitors. It looked to be working for a full 15 minutes before normal service was resumed.

Hull had really been on the back foot in the second half, but a Tiger is made more dangerous when it’s backed into a corner and in the 62nd minute the Tigers bit back. Regaining possession just inside the opposition half the ball was played up to Connolly, the QPR defender’s wrongly assumed he was offside, who played to the whistle and flicked the ball to his right for Ozan Tufan to run onto. He tried to slip it across the box for Oscar Estupian to tap in at the back post, but the ball never made it.

In his haste to prevent this from happening Rob Dickie slid in to deflect the ball away from the expectant Estupian, only to succeed in slamming it into his own net. Hull were 2-0 up 2 minutes after the hour mark, with their first decent attack of the half and had barely had to do anything for it.

Their taste for mauling opponents was renewed by this goal though and with 120 seconds Connolly’s birthday brace was complete. QPR’s resolve had been so thoroughly destroyed by the 2nd Hull goal that they offered no resistance to the third. A simple punt up the middle of the pitch dissolved the visitor’s defence to nothing and with all the time in the world, not to mention the freedom of the whole East Riding, Connolly was able to pick his spot and caress the ball into the bottom right corner with consummate ease.

With the Birthday brace complete for Connolly he was taken off 6 minutes from time to the most insane wall of sound I have ever experienced at a football ground. He was deservedly named Man Of The Match, just to put the cherry on top of his birthday cake. A hat-trick was just out of his reach, with Dieng twice grabbing the ball off his head as he went to nod it in.

In the final 20 minutes Dieng was the only thing stopping Hull adding to their lead, but no bother they still ran out 3-0 winners at half-time. The hosts ran rangers ragged for 75 minutes in this match and were incredible value for their first win of 2023.

The hosts owed the victory in no small part to the best atmosphere I have ever experienced at a football match.

If you get the chance to go to Hull, in either the home or away end, I encourage you to do so. They combine a relaxed outlook on outsiders with a visceral passion for their team in a way few other fans can. It’s even better when the opposition is ‘getting mauled by the Tigers’ of course, but I can’t guarantee that part of the experience.

Saturday 1st April 2023: EFL League Two: Eco-Power Stadium: Doncaster Rovers vs Crewe Alexandra

With the backlog of blogs that I accrued in January, due to technical issues, it has been a long time since I wrote a blog on the day of the game itself. This one couldn’t wait.

Never have I been so angry to have wasted a day at a football ground. Even Barrow AFC postponing the game I was going to after I’d already made the long trek up from Manchester didn’t infuriate me this much. At least that was down to circumstances outside of the team’s control.

Today I travelled to South Yorkshire to watch a team succumb willingly to a humiliation at the hands of visitors, who hadn’t won away from home since mid-October and hadn’t done so with goals from open play since the first game of the season way back in July.

Throughout the match the home individuals looked like a group of people picked off the streets and dumped on the field. If they had any inkling of what football was or how to play it there was no discernible evidence of this knowledge.

They didn’t even seem to know what colour their teammates were wearing. Even 5 yard passes, that were supposed to pass for clearances, went to someone in Crewe’s blue away kit (the hosts were in Red and White hooped shirts).

It only took The Railwaymen 31 minutes to open the scoring due to their own troubles locating the goal. Until Courtney Baker-Richardson broke the deadlock by unleashing a thunderbolt across the Donny ‘keeper’ it appeared that Crewe simply had no idea there was a goal in the stadium.

Once they’d located it and opened the scoring they wasted just 7 minutes before doubling their lead. Their second coming from a simple corner to the front post, where Connor O’Riordan was able to flick the ball on and over the line unchallenged.

If Doncaster were completely ineffectual on the defence, their attacking play was essentially non-existent. James Beadle, the Crewe goalkeeper, could have taken a nap on top of the goal for at least the whole first half and no-one in the stadium would have noticed.

The hosts barely improved after the break, despite a double half-time substitution. I only stayed till the final whistle because I had hours till my train and nothing else to do in town.

I will no torture you with an account of the second half as I have no wish to relive it. Having to sit through it once was bad enough.

The gap between Doncaster and the drop into non-league sat at 19 points before kick-off. Their shameful display today has cut that to 16 and with 7 games to go it is entirely plausible that they could drop like a stone, out of the 92 and into the chasm of non-league.

It would be a just punishment for a team of professional players who can turn in such an insipid performance. The home fans spend their hard earnt wages to support their team and for this to be their reward is disgraceful.

There were many fans chanting for the manager to be sacked as boos rang out at the final whistle, but if they get their wish most of the playing squad should be following him out the door.

Performances like the one they turned in today would be an embarrassment to players in the 10th tier of English football let alone the 4th.

I wish this this was an April Fools joke blog, then at least I wouldn’t have wasted a say of my life I can never get back. Unfortunately it is not!

Sunday 29th January 2023: Women’s FA Cup 4th Round: Etihad Academy Stadium: Manchester City vs Sheffield United

In a month dedicated to my football travels I made it to the last weekend of the month without making it to a Women’s match. So I decided it was far past time to change that and chose the FA Cup 4th round as the time for it to happen. The Etihad academy was the place and the visitors to this altar of Women’s football were Sheffield United from the Women’s Championship.

Any second division team coming to the home of one of the best teams in England were always going to struggle. Things looked particularly grim for the visitors from South Yorkshire, as they hadn’t won in the league since the third game of the season. You didn’t have to know anything about football to spot from 100 miles away who was going to come out on top here. Sheffield United were coming here as lambs to the slaughter whose only hope was to keep the score down. A though task against a team who had won two of their last three games 6-0.

It was one way traffic from the first whistle to the last, as the hosts pinned their victims in their own area for the duration. The first 15 minutes of this attack vs defence training session were kept goalless thanks to the heroic efforts of the Yorkshire 11, but a minute later their resolve was broken.

Kadisha ‘Bunny’ Shaw was the lady to break the deadlock and set Man City on their simple Sunday stroll in the park, to victory. The ball was played up to Chloe Kelly in the right channel; she wrong footed Nina Wilson, in the Sheffield goal, and laid the ball into Bunny’s path to stroke home into the unguarded net. There can be few simpler goals scored in the past decade.

With the defences smashed it now just became a question of how many City would get as they sent wave upon wave of attacks against the broken Sheffield defence. It took them a full 22 minutes to double their advantage and I still don’t know how it took so long. City had the run of the pitch and the only time Sheffield attempted to get near the ball was within the 6 yard box around their goal. They protected that area like the lives of everyone they’d ever met depended on it.

Even this dogged spirit of survival at all costs was not enough in the 38th minute though. A simple cross from the left was allowed to sweep across the box unmolested. It made it all the way through to Chloe Kelly at the back post and she made the wise call not to look this gift horse in the mouth. Kelly slammed the ball home with the power of someone letting out all their frustration of a player making up for the 11 months of her career lost to an ACL injury.

The venom of this finish inspired City to complete their trifecta of goals before half-time, with the last kick of the half. A half in which the visitors failed to register a shot on target. Intricate interplay between the previous goalscorers ended with a crisp cross across the 6 yard box, which was collected by Deyna Castellanos in the centre. The Spaniard was afforded the time to spin and tap the ball into a, yet again, unguarded goal.

Seeing the ease with which the goals that had been scored left many of the home fans underwhelmed at the paltry 3 goal advantage their team carried down the tunnel. This palpable disappointment was expertly dispelled early in the second half, as Bunny and Julie Blakstad had made the host’s lead unassailable within 7 minutes of the restart.

As in the first half Bunny went first, squirming her second under the statuesque keeper from the edge of the penalty area. Found by a short free-kick along the ground, with her back to goal, Bunny spun on the spot before releasing the ball from her feet at the speed of an arthritic slug and it still found it’s way through the obstacles before it and into the back of the net.

Blakstad’s goal 2 minutes later was even simpler. Sheffield United dithered on the ball on the edge of the box, the ball was duly nicked off them and slid through for Blakstad to guide home from point blank range. Having seen her teammate get a brace Blakstad decided she wanted one too. She would get what she wanted when she made it 6-0 to City in the 78th minute. Blakstad’s brace came from a corner from the left, she held the nearby defenders at arms length and shovelled the ball over the keeper and into the net.

Not to be outshone Bunny decided to complete her hat-trick with 3 minutes left in the match. A miscommunication in the Sheffield defence left Kelly and Shaw sprinting free in behind the backline. Kelly chose the unselfish option to slide the ball left for Shaw to slip under the keeper. This simple Seventh summarised the slaughter of Sheffield; simple, sumptuous play that tore Sheffield to shreds. The visitors managed a single shot in the whole 90 minutes and, shocking no-one, they didn’t even get it on target.

Losing such a one-sided exhibition of how to destroy your opponents is at least on small silver lining for Sheffield United to take back across the Pennines. If their defence had buckled straight away the City’s final score could easily have been doubled.

For City it was a case of ‘Lambs slaughtered, now onto the proper challenge’. That proper challenge was closing the 5 point gap to their cross city rivals, occupying the final Champions League qualification spot, in the WSL.

I wish them the best of luck with that. Though judging by their performance here they hardly need it.